You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
