This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
