all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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