Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
