Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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