So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
