nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
