Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
