So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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