do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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