Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
