those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
