yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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