He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
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Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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