Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
