Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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