so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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