im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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