Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
