Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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