Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
