mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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