sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
