I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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