Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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