Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
