ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
