i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude. I can hear the air.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
