I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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