The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
