I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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