Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She even gives head with a lisp.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
