HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
