so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
