Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As shirtless as possible
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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