Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
