they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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