Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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