I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
