If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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