I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
