is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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