I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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