Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
