Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
