My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
