on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
