Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
