Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
