he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
