He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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