I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
