found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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