I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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