so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
