Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
