Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
